chuckpalahniuk:

It’s Christmas! It’s Christmas! Actually, no… it’s just a Tuesday. But dammit, when Chuck Palahniuk has a new novel out, it feels like Christmas! Today, Beautiful You, Chuck’s 14th novel (16th book!) is out in stores. And you know what that means, right? A billion husbands are about to be replaced! If you haven’t already gobbled up this book, here’s the description from Amazon:

Penny Harrigan is a low-level associate in a big Manhattan law firm with an apartment in Queens and no love life at all. So it comes as a great shock when she finds herself invited to dinner by one C. Linus Maxwell, a software mega-billionaire and lover of the most gorgeous and accomplished women on earth. After dining at Manhattan’s most exclusive restaurant, he whisks Penny off to a hotel suite in Paris, where he proceeds, notebook in hand, to bring her to previously undreamed-of heights of gratification for days on end. What’s not to like? This: Penny discovers that she is a test subject for the final development of a line of feminine products to be marketed in a nationwide chain of boutiques called Beautiful You. So potent and effective are these devices that women by the millions line up outside the stores on opening day and then lock themselves in their room with them and stop coming out. Except for batteries. Maxwell’s plan for battery-powered world domination must be stopped. But how?

You can order the book today from Amazon, Barnes & Noble and IndieBound here!

If you buy the book in a store, be sure to Tweet us at @ChuckPalahniuk with a picture. 

And if you’d like to try to see Chuck on tour, here are all the dates.

markus-of-nuttus:

demispooky:

male teachers arent allowed to dress code female students anymore at my school because somebody pointed out that if they had been dress coded for their shorts/skirt being too short or their bra showing by a male teacher, that meant said male teacher was looking at her ass and boobs i am laughing my fucking ass off

where is the lie tho

carolovely626:

Michael Lipsey

stealthboy:

how many times do doctors need to confirm that lack of sleep is physically and emotionally harming high school students because of how early they have to be up before someone will give enough of a shit about these kids’ health to actually change something

xavierwallet:

Worst Dressers:
Smith says Kyle Quincey has “unique style”. He made his own jean shorts and wore a jean vest with them. He also wore a Ron Burgundy suit.

Hank says Quincey “Just look at him”.

Kindl says DeKeyser and Quincey

DeKeyser says Quincey

Quincey says him.

vrtoglavicazanosa:

La jalousie / Jealousy (2013)

she need only be given the chance; #womenintheNHL

keepmovingforwardx3 whispered: Odds for you darling ;)

Thanks love :)

1:What would you name your future daughter?

Isabella Mia. That’s if I ever change my mind about having kids, which is unlikely.

3:What if I told you that you were pretty?

I would do the compliment hunch and tell you you’re wrong.

5:What are you looking forward to in the next week?

Pumpkin/Apple picking, Suicide Girls, Wings vs. Penguins game, and just being with Elliott all weekend :3

7:How late did you stay up last night?

Fucking 10 pm. I was exhausted and was two Benadryl deep.

9:What were you doing at 12:30 this afternoon?

I was eating lunch, I believe.

11:Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol?

If it was detrimental to my health, I guess. Just as a life choice, then no.

13:Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?

Probably. I’m not a smoker anymore, but sometimes I get a craving.

15:Is it hard for you to get over someone?

It depends on the person and the duration of the relationship (if there was one), as well as how it ended. Usually it takes a while, but not recently.

17:Have you ever cried from being so mad?

Have you met me? Of course I have.

19:Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed?

Nope, just next to the bed.

21:What is the last thing you said out lot?

"KEEP ALL THE GOALIES!" 

23:Have you ever been to Paris?

Nope. Never been outside North America.

25:Do you use chap stick?

All the god damn time.

27:Are you listening to music right now?

I was listening to Arctic Monkeys and Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness.

29:Were your last three kisses from the same person?

On the lips? Yes. I kissed my mom on the cheek when she came home today.

31:Do you wear the hood on your hoodie?

Every once in a while. Since my hair is usually in a messy bun, it’s a bit hard.

33:What do people call you?

Paige?

35:Are there any stressful situations in your life?

Not really. Almost everything is resolved with my work situation.

37:What is wrong with you right now?

Honestly? Nothing.

39:Do you make wishes at 11:11?

If I see it, yes. 

41:Are you single/taken/heartbroken/confused/waiting for the unexpected?

Very happily taken :]

43:Have you ever regretted kissing someone?

Oh yes. Very much so.

45:Have you kissed anyone in the last five days?

Uh yes, duh.

47:Do you miss the way things were six months ago?

Nope. I’m not in school, I’m not stressed, and I don’t work at Home Depot. I’m happy where I’m at now.

49:Have you ever been to New York?

Yes, and I hope to go again very soon. I miss my future home :(

GL