Shout out to girls who don’t mind being called dude and man casually
shout out to boys who don’t mind being called guuurrl
shout out to humans who don’t mind being called dawg
shout out to dogs who will let you call them anything so long as you say it in a happy, friendly tone.
Shout out to Guinea Pigs which are neither pigs nor from Guinea.
i would sit in my underwear with you at 2am
Chris Pratt Interrupts Interview To French Braid Intern’s Hair
SHUT THE HELL U P
this man has gone too far
After listing all the injuries on the board, Babs said…
this movie’s gonna be fucking amazing i’m so excited.
this is the greatest thing. right alongside ewan mcgregor imitating the noise of his lightsaber during the filming of phantom menace. THE VERY GREATEST THING.
Accurate post is accurate.
Reminds me of the time a lady told me whip doesn’t melt. Or a guy yelled at me for not understanding him/hearing him because he kept talking on the phone
For those in retail.
I worked in a Lil Caesars and a woman came in and wanted a sausage pizza with no sausage, but got mad when she was given a cheese pizza.
So when I worked at fitting room in Old Navy, a woman told me that a medium top was too small, and that the large top was too large. So she asked me to find her an “x-medium”. Old Navy carries x-small, small, medium, large, x-large, 1x, 2x and 3x. There is no “x-medium”. But she insisted, so I went and found her an “x-medium” (which was just a medium in a different color but the same top, same make, same EVERYTHING) and she goes very happily, “THIS! THIS FITS ME PERFECTLY! THANK YOU SO MUCH! See, you can do anything you can set your mind to!”
I’m a waitress at a big fancy resort, and once a woman asked me for a diet water and when I told her there was no such thing she demanded to see my manager (who then also promptly told her there was no such thing and brought her regular water).
Another occasion of stupidity occurred when a woman had been brought a steak cooked too much for her liking. I offered to take it back and bring her out a new one, cooked a little less, and she said “NO this one’s fine I just want you to cook THIS one a little less.” I then had to get the chef and have him explain why you can’t UNCOOK a steak.
When I was working at dunkin donuts there was this woman in the drive-thru who asked for a lightly toasted croissant and then started complaining that the croissant was warm. And wanted her money back, so she gave me the croissant back and I gave her the money and then she tells me “now i want my new croissant” she wanted a new one for free and as she was screaming at me this guy in a biker gang covered in tattoos leans over the counter in the store and yells “ma’am let me just tell you what we’re all thinking. fuck off, you stupid ****.” I couldn’t stop laughing and she drove away in anger.
Most of the people like in the stories above know that they’re being totally irrational, but also know that if they complain enough they’ll most likely get something free or discounted. So really most of the the nonsensical fucks are actually just cheap fucks with no shame or respect for people.
That last bit of commentary though.
oh man, okay. i work in a convenience store/gas station/depanneur whatever the fuck you wanna call it okay? we have people who are like absolutely like gambling addicts but with the lotteries and scratch tickets. i had this one dude come in (not a regular, thank GOD) and he was like, “I need you to replay these ten tickets” which i’ve done before you just scan the barcode and press replay. but if a SPECIFIC ticket has already been replayed you cannot replay it again, so like, three of his tickets had already been replayed and so this happens
me: i’m sorry sir-
him: don’t tell me you can’t replay those tickets because i have been playing those numbers for 20 years don’t tell me you can’t replay them because otherwise you don’t want me money
me: uh… okay, well, i’m sorry, but i actually can’t. these specific tickets have already been replayed somewhere so i can’t play replay them
him: okay, fine, keep those tickets, forget about giving me the money i won because you clearly dont want my money. i wanna see the owner.
(i work at a fucking CHAIN GAS STATION. ULTRAMAR OKAY. LIKE, LITERALLY, IT’S A HUGE AS COMPANY NOT SOME DINGY GAS STATION OWNED BY THIS DUDE WHO ONLY HAS ONE GAS STATION OR SOMETHING)
me: well, uh, i could have you talk to my assistant manager, we’re the only two here today.
me: *goes to get assistant manager*
assistant manager: *explains the same thing i did*
him: fine, just replay the ones you can then. i can tell that girl there is obviously new, she doesn’t seem very educated.
and then he was talking to the assistant manager about me as if i wasn’t literally RIGHT NEXT TO MY ASSISTANT MANAGER about how i must be an idiot if i could fuck up replaying tickets.
the guy didn’t ask for anything discounted and just left
not all people are just looking for something free, sometimes THEY ARE JUST RIDICULOUS FUCKING ASSHOLES